Growing up when I'd visit families for BBQ holidays, I hated sides. All of them. Didn't eat potato salad, baked beans, mac and cheese, or coleslaw. But when I found corn, I knew I had found something special. Here I am, 30 years later, and I can honestly say I've never had "bad" corn. Certainly, some mediocre corn, but always edible. Never bad. At least... until now.
Now I know whatever is in this bag looks like corn, sort of feels like corn, and at passing glance, might resemble corn; but whatever the h*** is in this bag is unlike any corn I've ever eaten. Words like "terrible" or "awful" just don't quite get it here. This stuff is straight up nasty.
I'm from the South. We manage to make anything edible with some combination of butter, sugar, salt, or grease. But this garbage? Nuh-uh. No amount of butter penetrates it enough to make it taste buttery. It still somehow manages to remain bland. No amount of salt really makes it salty -> you get a blast of salt in the mouth at first bite, but it's somehow still bland. Try to cream it? You'll never add enough sugar to hide the blandness of this corn. I tried the be-all, end-all of fixing things that just don't quite taste good and even tried a little bacon grease. I have never witnessed bacon grease fail to fix a flavor problem, but it can't do anything for this rubbish.
And that's not even mentioning anything about the horrible texture. It's honestly... just wrong. Imagine if you bit into something that clearly had fluid in it, but it was actually somehow... tough, dry, and almost chalky. That's the texture this stuff has. And I say stuff because again... this ain't corn. Is corn jerky a thing? Because then maybe that's what this was meant to be.
All in all, wherever you found this swill, take it back. Actually no, don't. Burn it in a crematorium so that no living creature ever has to suffer this absolute bastardization of my beloved starch.
P.S. No, this really doesn't qualify as swill. Swill is meant to feed animals, and I wouldn't feed this stuff to any animal I cared even a little bit about. Destined to become bacon or n......... OHHH NO. Please have this stuff destroyed before somebody feeds it to pigs and we end up with bland bacon -_-