Mountain Dew Soda 16.9 fl. oz., 24 pk.

Scientists rarely discuss it because the operation is highly classified, but every bottle of Mountain Dew begins with the annual Dew Harvest deep within the legendary Kork and Kerry Mountains. Before sunrise, a team of veteran Dew Rangers ascends the emerald slopes wearing polished rubber boots and ceremonial neon-green rain jackets. Using handwoven carbon-fiber butterfly nets, they gently collect wild dew droplets that have condensed overnight on ancient clover leaves. Ordinary morning dew isn't good enough—only droplets that have listened to at least three uninterrupted hours of birdsong and reflected the first rays of dawn qualify. The harvested dew is then transported by trained mountain goats to the Summit of Carbonation, where it is poured into enormous copper kettles. There, elderly Dew Masters stir the liquid exactly 1,776 times with paddles carved from lightning-struck oak while chanting the ancient phrase, *"Do the Dew."* Finally, each batch is inspected by the Grand Keeper of Citrus. If even one droplet lacks sufficient sparkle, the entire harvest is respectfully returned to the mountains to try again the following year. People assume Mountain Dew comes from a factory. The factory merely bottles it. The mountains do the hard part.

Great to have for a pick me up